watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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