thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
