I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
