Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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