fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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