All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
