The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
