Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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