get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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