Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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