I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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