My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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