dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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