Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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