I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
