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I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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