I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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