sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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