after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
did you just send me my own nude
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
