dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
