I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
MIDGETS
????
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
