i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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