I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize