North Korea, Best Korea!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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