Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
