it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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