O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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