just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she was so not down for the gang bang
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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