I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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