Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
