Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
