What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
