i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
This can only be settled by a dance off.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
