Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
