can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
