East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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