PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
