It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
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