Pants 0. Shit 1.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Are my feet made of real feet?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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