don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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