fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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