Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
