I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
