So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
