small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
