I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
you never un-have a 4some
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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