I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
