I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
