Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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