I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
