On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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