I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize