Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
