That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize