What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
