The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
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