it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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