Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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