So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize