you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
