hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
